Second chance
by fran-blujay
Summary: What happens after Jenna chooses Matty? Will the kiss between Tamara and Jake end up in something more? How will relationships change? Will the summer bring people closer or will it end friendships?
1. Chapter 1: Too serious too fast?

Chapter 1: Too serious too fast?

Last month of school was here and it felt like it was never going to end. Everybody was studying for their finals, including me, but it was hard to concentrate when I had someone next to my bed constantly kissing and whispering things in my ear. It was a Friday night and I was trying to study for my European History final when Matty suggested we should take a break and go grab something to eat at Guiseppe's. I thought it was a good idea and it would distract me from the fact that all I wanted to do at that moment was kiss him and enjoy a makeout session the rest of the afternoon. We were getting our things and heading to the door when my mom and dad stopped us and told us they were going out and coming back home late. Matty and I looked at each other thinking the same thing: he would stay over and I would have him all for myself a couple of hours after dinner, which was enough time for us. At that exact moment my dad looks at Matty with a serious face, probably thinking "I don't want you to come near my house when she's alone". Instead he said, " You guys have fun" and gave Matty a llittle white plastic bag. Neither of us wanted him to open it because we were afraid of what would be inside. After our little awkward conversation we jumped into Matty's truck and drove to the restaurant.

During our ride, we had a nice, fun, and flirty conversation until Matty brought up Jake. He said that he hadn't seen him since my European party, which was a little less than a week ago. That's when I started thinking about Tamara. I haven't talked to her much at school either because she said she was very busy studying all day. I didn't think it was coincidence the fact that neither T nor Jake have been seen much lately. At that moment I thought about what I saw at my party. It all made sense now and I completely forgot to tell Matty about what I saw inside Ming's car. "I think I know why you haven't heard of Jake lately". Matty looked at me curiously and asked "Why? Is he having a secret relationship I should know about?" he said joking, not thinking he might actually be on the right track. "Sort of. I think I forgot to mention something very important" I said. That's when he looked at me with a very strange look on his face. At that point he was done parking the truck and waiting for me to say something. I explained to him what I saw at the party and that I thought they have been hanging out for the past days. We thought about it for a few minutes and realized it could be possible. Both of them said they have been very busy studying. It was strange because, although we were all studying for finals, no one spent every second of their free time studying, especially Jake and Tamara. After talking and realizing we had been park for about tem minutes, we got out of the truck and walked into the restaurant.

Everything between us was going great. We were officially boyfriend and girlfriend (even online official, which now a days is usually more clear that you are taken than seeing two people walking hand in hand and making out in the halls). The private side of our relationship was basically the same as the first time around. It was the public side that got much better. At school we would spend some time together, usually lunch, but we also gave each other some space and time to hang out with our friends. In the afternoon we would usually go to my house to hang out and have a little more fun than at school or at any public place.

We got into the restaurant, sat, and quickly ordered. We were having a nice time and eating an amazing dinner. Most of the time he was holding my hand and once in a while he would give me that half smile so characteristic of him. Dinner was great but for the first time we had a long conversation that would turn out to be very important to both of us. He started telling me about his family ( a subject I realized I knew almost nothing about) and that they were organizing a family reunion that he wanted me to come. At that moment things got very real very fast. It's not that I didn't want them to get real (in fact I was glad our relationship was moving somewhere), it's just that it surprised me that Matty was the one trying to move forward. It would take a lot of courage but I needed to ask him about it. Maybe not right now. I wouldn't want to have this conversation at a public place with people listening everywhere and spoil the moment.

Right when were about to leave, we saw to familiar faces walk on the other end of the restaurant. It was Jake and Tamara. Matty and I looked at each other for a second and decides to stay five more minutes to see what was going on. Luckily they didn't see us when they walked in so they wouldn't feel uncomfortable with our presence. Nothing strange was going on between them. They were talking and laughing while they waited for someone to take their order. I was starting to get bored until Matty suggested that there were many more interesting and fun things we could do at my house since my parents were not coming any time soon. I thought it was a great idea so we quietly left and walked towards the car.

When he parked in front of my house, we noticed that in the back seat there was the bag my dad gave Matty conveniently before we leaving. He took the bag and opened it to see what was inside without letting me see it. he then looked at me and started laughing hysterically. I took the bag from him only to see a box filled with condoms and a little paper saying "Be careful". I started laughing too until he gave me a passionate kiss and suggested it would be a good idea if we took my dad's advice and use them.


	2. Chapter 2: Three words

We arrived at my house at about 9 o'clock so we still had about two to three hours before my parents arrived. Matty was kissing me all the way to my room and I was quickly getting carried away until I remembered the fact that I needed to ask him about that family reunion. It did scare me a little bit what his family might think about me, how would Matty introduce me, and if he was honestly ready for our relationship to become as serious as I thought it was getting. Maybe I was over thinking it, which was usually the case. Maybe he wasn't thinking about it as much as I was, or maybe I wasn't the only girl Matty has introduced to his whole family. Either way, as much as I was enjoying this intimate moment, I needed to get it out of my system. I promised myself that this time around I would tell Matty how I felt about certain things instead of just agreeing to everything he says. We both needed to work on our communication skills a little more. We needed less action and more talking.

"I need to ask you something" I said the moment he stopped kissing my lips and started kissing my neck. "What is it?" he said, not stopping kissing me and trying to get my clothes off. "It's about that family reunion you told me about at the restaurant. I'm worried about something". That's when he stopped kissing me and looked at me worried as we sat up in my bed. "What about the reunion?" he said. "What if your parents don't like me? What if they think I'm weird, or the suicide girl, and just freak them out? What if…" I said stumbling upon my words until he grabbed me and kissed me so I could stop saying all this nonsense. After he was done kissing me, we both opened our eyes and looked at each other for about five seconds until he broke the silence. "That won't happen. My parents really want to know you and they would be excited to hear that you will be coming to the reunion." he said with a reassuring smile. He thought that with that answer my face would light up again but that didn't actually happen. My face was exactly the same as one minute ago. Even more questions were running through my head but one was dominating my train of thought. "Are you sure you want to take me?" I asked and immediately regretted saying anything. What would he think of me now? Would he think I'm pathetic or some kind of looser who always want to be accepted? I would. He looked at me for a while until he said, "Of course I'm sure. You are my girlfriend and I love you J".

He said he loved me. That took me for surprise. Last time a guy told me he loved me I wasn't able to say it back. Matty had told me he loved me before (twice if you count the time he told me he loved me in my dream) but at that time, I was with Jake and our relationship was a little strange. This time was different though. I felt that this time around was different and I wanted (not needed) to say something back and not just "awesome". "I love you too" I said relieved that I was feeling better about our relationship each day. I was sure about my feelings as well as his feeling and I didn't have to make an effort for those words to come out of my mouth.

He smiled, looked at me, and gave me the most passionate kiss he ever gave me. This moment was perfect. I couldn't wait for summer to arrive to be all over each other. This was going to be the first summer with a boyfriend. While I was thinking about all the stuff we were going to do over the summer (including camp Pookah), Matty stopped kissing me and suggested we could follow my dad's advice and use the condoms he gave him. I nodded and he quickly started getting my shirt off as soon as he took of his. This time was different though. It wasn't the same as all the other times we had sex. He was taking it slow and kissing all my body at a very smooth pace. His shirtless body and nice chest were on top of me and I immediately thought that a if someone me told a year ago this was going to happen I wouldn't have believed a single word. Sophomore year was chaotic. So many thing (good and bad) happened but I'm glad they did. It gave me a new perspective about my life, who I was, and who I wanted to be with.

After we were done, we decided to just cuddle in my bed and enjoy each other's company for the rest of the time. We decided to watch a movie but soon got bored. We started talking about Tamara and Jake and decided that we would call them the next day and try to get some info about their lives this past week or so. At about eleven thirty Matty said he had to leave so I walked him to the door and he gave me a good night kiss. He was coming tomorrow for lunch and then we would spend the rest of the day studying (or at least I would, even though he is usually a big distraction). About five minutes after he left I heard my parents walk in through the door and I pretended to be sleeping so they wouldn't ask me uncomfortable questions or talk to me about my relationship with Matty, which was usually the case after they arrive from a party and either my mom or my dad is drunk. As soon as I made sure they were sleeping I got my computer and started writing in my blog.


	3. Chapter 3: Advice from the unexpected

When I woke up in the morning the first thing on my mind was Tamara. I quickly got up, took a shower, got dressed, and had breakfast while my parents were still sleeping. I decided to wait a little before calling T because I figured she would still be sleeping if she had fun at the restaurant. I went on to my computer and started doing my favorite thing: blogging. When my blog went public, I started writing less because I didn't want to spoil my relationship with Matty, Jake, and my friends. Even after I chose who I wanted to be with, I spent so much time with Matty that writing was becoming secondary. I wanted to go back to writing my feelings but this time privately. I didn't want Sadie to write mean comments about my relationship just because hers wasn't working the way she wanted it to work. I didn't want Lissa either to know about Jake's new date because it was pretty obvious that she still had feelings for him. Anyway, I wanted to keep my blog private because I didn't want everyone to have an opinion about my life. So I decided to go back to my writing habits. I wondered what Matty thought when he read the blog (which he probably did since everyone around school was talking about it, and him for that matter).

After writing for quite some time, I decided that it was late enough to call Tamara with the excuse that I wanted to study with her and maybe invite her to come to my house at night so we could talk. Matty was coming over for lunch but we wasn't staying for too long because he said he was going to hang out with his brother and some of his friends. That would allow me to spend time with T and make her tell me the truth. So I called her and she quickly answered. "Hey Jenn what's up?", she said, sounding like she was excited to talk to me. "Hi T. It feels like I haven't seen or heard from you in like forever". "I know", she said "I haven't seen you at school now that you have a boyfriend and spend all the time with him". I knew that wasn't true. Most of my lunches I'd spend with Ming because we would never see Tamara around. She knew it as well and she knew that she was the one avoiding us. "I was thinking that maybe we could study together later tonight and catch up on some stuff" I said, not only thinking about Jake but also about what Matty had told me last night. "Yeah sure I will be there at around eight. Is it ok if I stay over so I don't have to go back home late? I feel like we have a lot to tell each other" she said. "Yeah, sure you can stay over, see you tonight then. Bye" I hung up my phone. I decided that the conversation was a complete success. I would've called Ming and invited her too but her parents had her on house arrest studying for finals (like every year).

I texted Matty and said that tonight I was getting some info on the Tamara/ Jake situation. He texted me back saying that he would be here in a couple of hours for lunch with my family. Soon my parents got up (hungover of course) and my mom soon started cooking so I went and helped her. She wanted to cook Italian food, which was one of Matty's favorite since his uncle served Italian food at his restaurant. While she cooked I was preparing the dessert and my dad was going to the supermarket to buy some things that were missing. This gave my mom the perfect chance to start talking about my date yesterday. "How did everything go last night? Anything special?" She was always very interested about my relationship with Matty probably because it reminded her about her high school life. Ever since the incident of the letter died out, my mom and I had become a little closer. We would have conversations that I would've usually avoided and I could tell that she was concerned about my relationship with Matty because she was afraid that her story would repeat itself. She was just making sure that the decision I made was the one I was sure of. "It was fun. We went to Guiseppe's" I said, trying not to give away all the details about dinner. Of course, she wasn't satisfied with the answer. She waited a little bit for me to say something else and when she realized I wasn't going to say anything, she started bombarding me with questions. "What did you talk about?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant but obiously not succeeding. "We talked about many things and he said he wanted to take me to a family reunion" I answered. She said she was glad that our relationship was becoming better and that we haven't had any problems. "What did you do after dinner? Did he come over?" Of course I was expecting that question, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell her that Matty said he loved me. I needed some advice and I wasn't sure if Tamara had the time to listen to me. "Yes, we came home and hang out for a while but he didn't stay for too long. Mom I wanted to ask you something" I said, still debating on my head whether it was a good idea to tell her.

She then stopped cooking and turned around to face me. "What's the matter? Are you sure everything is ok between you and Matty?" she asked. "Yes, everything's ok. In fact I think things are getting better each day, and I can see that my relationship is moving somewhere in comparison to the first time we "dated". Its just that last night he told me he loved me and I got sared. I love him too but I'm scared that it might not end up well or maybe worse than last time or maybe…" That's when my mom stopped me from talking and said, "Its absolutely normal you feel this way. You are scared that now that your relationship is stronger and getting serious, it could end badly. I am not saying that it will, but I do believe that things are changing. I think you should just live the moment and enjoy what is happening to you. You are still in high school and your only worry should be school. Try not to get caught up in the drama that is only in your head. Things good happen to you all the time, even if you only seem to notice only the drama in your life. Think about it".

She was right. All the time I was expecting something bad to happen maybe because this year has been chaotic. But I really needed to stop worrying and had fun. I made my choice and I was more than happy with it. I wasn't going to europe but I was going to spend time with Matty. He said he loved my and, without a single doubt, I said it back. Everything was going my way like Clark said to my at the party. I thought that it was time to start thinking positive. "Thanks mom" I said and with that my dad arrived and we finished cooking lunch. Matty arrived and we started eating.

**Thatks for reading. I would like to get some feedback about my story. Feel free to tell me what you think about it and what you would like to see happen to certain characters. I'm trying, in the long term, to have most of the characters appear in some way or another (and some actually have a storyline). I would really like feedback so I can write about what you guys want to see happening. Thanks again**


	4. Chapter 4: The blog

Lunch was interesting. My dad and Matty get along very well. Maybe its because of the fact that Matty is the only guy around he has the chance to talk to about sports. I wasn't interested about football or baseball and neither was my mom so my dad instantly got along very well with one of the most athletic guys at school. While they talked about what my mom considers to be guys stuff, she was constantly fixing my hair, my shirt, and anything that could be fixed. At one point she even suggested me to go and change my clothes because the ones I was wearing were too loose and you couldn't see my figure. I tried to ignore her as much as I could and I was relieved when lunch was over.

We went to my room to hang out for a little bit. He sat in my bed while I grabbed my computer from the desk and the sat next to him. I hadn't notice my computer was on and that I didn't close my blog this morning. I quickly closed it and he notice that my desktop background picture was the picture he took with Tamara and Ming. He took my hand before I had the chance to do something and looked at the picture for a while. He smiled and gave me a kiss in the cheek. "It's a very nice picture. Good memories" he said. I looked at him and kissed him in the lips. He got carried away by that kiss and soon we ended lying on my bed with his shirt on the floor. My parents were on the house so I reminded him about that and he stopped with a kind of dissappointed look. "Maybe next time we will get our chance but when my parents are not home. We don't want them to dislike you just when you are getting along with them very well." I laughed a little but then I remebered I wanted to ask him a question. "I need to ask you something" I said. "Shoot" he said, "I'm ready for everything". I took a deep breath and then looked at him directly in the eyes. "I never asked you this before but did you ever read my blog?". He was silent for a while. Maybe he didn't want to answer and at that point I was doubting whether or not I wanted to know.

"Nevermind, lets forget about it. Pretend like I never asked you anything" I said trying to stop the conversation. "No, you deserve an answer and I have to be completely honest with you. Yes, I did read your blog at the time everyone was taking about it" he said. I wanted to know what he thought about it but before I could ask anything he continued. "At first I was surprised about all the stuff I didn't know about. Like I was your first." This made me blush a little, but he continued. "Or how you really felt about our relationship that I wished I would've known. But mostly I felt ashamed. I wasn't ashamed of what everyone at school thought about me. I was ashamed of all the things I did to you. I knew that keeping our relationship a secret wasn't the way to go but after reading the blog I realized that everything I did was wrong. It made me feel like I was the worst thing ever. After reading it I felt that I needed to fight for you even harder and that if I had a second chance I would make everything right. The moment I saw you kissing Jake at winter formal I relized I was in love with you, but the moment I finished reading the blog I realized not only that I wanted you back; I also wanted to make everything right, what you really deserved after all I made you got through". He stopped talking whe he realized tears were coming out of my eyes. That was the fisrt time Matty ever talked for such a long period of time without stopping. I was starting to get emotional because of everything I was hearing. I only knew how I was feeling but then I realized how much I hurt him too. I could tell, when I was with Jake, that Matty wanted me back but I never knew how much he changed over that time.

"I'm sorry" he said "I shouldn't have said anything. It made you cry."He looked at my drying my face with his kisses. He looked horrible and that made me feel worse. "I'm sorry" I responded. "I should've said something. I was just afraid that you would believe I was just making everything more complicated." "That's not true" he said "If anything I was prtending that everything was ok between us when it wasn't. Its my fault." At that moment I was thinking that when I asked him if he read my blog I was expecting answers like "yes, and I liked it" or "no, I never read it". I never expected for this conversation to end up like this. I was now crying in his arms and he was being completely honest with me. I wiped my tears and siad to him, "But now everything is perfect. We have nothing to worry about because we are together and enjoying our time. We both made mistakes last time that we regret but know we can talk everything out now that we are developing our communication skills". I smiled at him and then he said, "yeah, because last time there wasn't much talking. There was more of this" and then he took me in his arms and started kissing me. He was right. That part of our relationship was the only part that existed before. I was glad now that we had the confidence to talk to each other if something was bothering us.

The conversation died out and the kissing round started. Everytime people are in a vulnerable place things start to heat up, and we weren't the exception. We went back to where we were right before our sonversation started. We were laying on my bed making out and before we started getting our clothes off my phone rang. "Saved by the bell" he said while he laughed. I got up and answered my phone. It was Tamara calling and saying she was coming over in about an hour. I totally forgot about that and when I hung up I saw Matty getting up and putting his shirt back on. He threw me mine and said he was leaving. He was getting tohether with some of his brother's friends and maybe Jake so he gave me a kiss and left (through the front door of course, we didn't want my parents to start thinking that he could come in the middle of he night through the back door). He said good bye to my parents, got into his truck and drove of. About an hour later Tamara arrived home. We got something quick to eat and headed to my room. I was starting to think that we our conversation was going to last a long time and that studying was not going to be included in our plans.


	5. Chapter 5: Friend zone

Tamara looked different. She was still talkative and making her usual dirty jokes every time we talked about Matty, but she had a special look in her face. She wouldn't stop smiling, even when we were not talking and she wouldn't stop looking at he phone. Maybe she was expecting a call from Jake or something so I decided to break the silence. "Are you expecting a call or something? You've looked at your phone many times in the last minute. Is everything ok?" I was starting to wonder if there is anything more to the Jake/Tamara issue that I didn't know about. "Ummm yeah. I was expecting someone to text me but nothing important. Maybe we should start studying" she said. "Yeah" I replied "I haven't studied much. Iv'e been going out with Matty most of these days. Yesterday my plan was to study but instead Matty suggested me we could go to Guiseppe's" Tamara looked back at me like I told her the world was going to end or something. She soon composed herself and trying to sound nonchalant asked "Nice, did you guys have fun? Any special reason why you decided to go to Guiseppe's?" She looked like she was interested to know if we saw them at the restaurant. "Yeah we had fun. It was a very interesting night. We went out last night because you were coming over tonight and he was going to hang out with some of his brother's friends and I think Jake" I said. At that exact moment her phone rang and I got a text from Matty. "Jake is calling someone, see if Tamara answers her phone, Love you."

T took her phone out of her pocket and answer. "Hi how are you? I'm doing great. Yeah sure. See you tomorrow bye." They obviously tried to make their conversation as short as possible. Before she could hung up I said "Tell Jake I say hi and not to steal you all the time away from your friends". She turned back and face me with an extremely surprised look on her face. I quickly took her phone and said to Jake "Have fun at Matty's and say hi from me". At this point Tamara wasn't moving. I just started laughing at the look in her face and imagined that Jake's face would probably be the same. When I was done laughing I said "Ok, start talking. What's going on between you and Jake?" She still couldn't believe I knew everything. Her face was priceless. "Who told you? did Jake tell Matty and then he told you? How do you know?"

I think she didn't mind the fact that I knew but I maybe she thought I was going to be mad at her for not telling me. Anyway, I was going to get all the information out of her sooner or later. "I figured it out all by myself. But why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me that you and Jake were going out? Why is it a secret?" I asked and then thought that maybe I was bombarding her with too many questions at once. "I didn't tell you what was going on because I am not even sure" she said with a kind of dissappointed look. "What do you mean?" I asked. Now I was sure that something else was going on. "Jenna I didn't say anything because I have no idea what is going on either. Jake and I have been hanging out lately. He has been telling me that he wants me to study with me for finals but I think its only an excuse to be around me. Or that's what I thought at the beginning." I was starting to think that she wanted to talk about it with someone but maybe she felt that I wasn't the right person to talk to because of all that happened between Jake and I. "What do you mean?" I asked. She took a deep breath and continued. "I enjoy spending time with Jake, and I am getting to know him better everydy. I am starting to like him but I'm not sure he feels the same way. When he is around me he acts like I'm one of his bests friends or something. I'm the one who is always suggesting to go out and do stuff. He always agrees but I feel like he is driving me to the friend zone. Everytime we get a little closer to each other or have a flirty conversation he moves back and changes the subject. And I think I know why he acts so strange sometimes." I think I knew why but I wasn't going to guess and make T feel bad. "Why?" I asked instead. "Because I think she still has feelings for you." she answered. I felt bad for her. I knew it was uncomfortable to talk about this subject with me, especially when she though she was fighting against Jake's feelings towards me.

It was obvious that her feelings for Jake were special. In any other circumstance, she would've directly asked Jake what was going on with him and confront him. instead, she was acting somewhat like me. She hasn't said anything to Jake about her feelings or what was bothering her. Instead, she was keeping everything to herself. "I think I know what you should do T. You should talk to him and directly ask him what his intentions are. Its obvious that he doesn't just want to study with you. But you need to get clearance. I don't want you to go through what I went through: being unsure about your relationship. Maybe, when you ask him, you will hear things that will make you feel better. Everything its going to fine. If there's anything I learned this year is that we should always face our problems and good things will always come out of it". I hoped that with the answer I gave her she would go back to her loud, funny self and start enjoying herself. "Thanks, J. That made me feel a lot better. Maybe I'm just overreacting and he is into me but has a very strange way of showing it" she said laughing and continued, "I haven't asked you how everything is going between you and Matty. Is everything good now?". I realized that many things had happened and that I needed to talk to T. I told her what Matty said about his family reunion, and that he loved me, and what he thought about my blog when he read it. "I've missed all that? We are going to have to start talking and texting more often. I can't believe that all that happened in less than two days, wow." She was surprised to hear all that and she gave me her usual advice. I was glad we spent this time together. We stopped talking and gossiping when we realized it was almost two in the morning. We decided to go to bed and maybe start studying early in the morning. Tomorrow maybe, after Tamara leaves, I would try to get Matty's perspective on the T/ Jake situation. Maybe Jake told him something that would give Tamara some hopes.


	6. Chapter 6: Taking responsibility

School was almost over. Just one more week and I was going to have maybe the best summer of my life. I had barely seen Matty the past three weeks. We both wanted to do well on our finals and studying together didn't seem to work out as well as we thought it would be. We are still teenagers so we get carried away often and instead of studying we almost every time ended on my bed having heated make out sessions. You can't blame me. Who wouldn't be attracted to Matty? He is really hot so it's hard to control myself every time he touches me or kisses me. I'm sure everyone who is in my situation would feel the same way. His perfect smile and eyes and his sculpted body make it easier to feel tempted. On the other hand, Matty is still a guy so for him it's also very normal to thinks with his body instead of his head. One day things were about to get dirty when my dad walked into my room to make sure we were studying. Things got a little bit weird. Matty was on top of me with his shirt off and I had only my jeans and my bra on when my dad surprised us. It was a very awkward situation. It was obvious that my dad was a little angry so Matty quickly left the house embarrassed without saying a single word. My dad was very serious (and maybe angry?) when he spoke to me.

"Jenna, I want to tell you something and I hope it's the first and last time I say it. I don't want you to act this way. You are my little girl you shouldn't be doing irresponsible things and hurting yourself. You are not mature and old enough to be acting this way". I knew my dad was a little disappointed but I think he was jealous most of all. He didn't want to accept the fact that his little girl was growing and that she didn't need to hold her dad's hand all the time. Until last year, the only man in my life was dad and I knew he wasn't quite ready to let go of her only daughter. But the way he said it caught me the wrong way. I wasn't being irresponsible (well, maybe a little, but not because of my relationship. I was supposed to be studying). I am just only trying to enjoy my high school life after a roller coaster year. I was mad that Matty had to leave so soon that I took it out on my dad. "I am not irresponsible and a little girl anymore dad. And how do you dare say that to me? Do you remember what happened sixteen years ago when you were in high school? I am not going to end the same way as you and mom. I am smarter than that". As soon as I said that I immediately regretted it. I knew my mom and dad made many mistakes when they were young but I am not the one who should judge them. He just looked at me one more time before he left the room.

The next day I went to school and Matty could tell something was wrong with me. I was very sad and the moment I saw him I ran into his arms, hugged him and started crying. I had never had a fight with my dad and everything was my fault. Maybe if it was with my mom, things would've been different. I would've never felt this bad because our relationship was different. With my dad, I knew he was hurt because I never spoke to him like that. Once I was able to calm down I told Matty what happened and he felt very guilty too. He was trying very hard to make me feel better but I knew he was feeling as guilty as I was. After I was done speaking he suggested that we started studying separately because it wasn't working the way we planned. "It would be better for us, and it would make your dad feel much better. We wouldn't want him not to trust us and we have to show him that we can both be responsible". He was right, we were being foolish and not thinking very much, and maybe my fight with my dad was a wake up call. What really surprised me was what Matty said next. "I am going to your hose tonight to talk to your dad though. I feel like I owe him an apology too. I will let him know that he can trust me even when he is not around". That made me feel very happy. I was also going to apologize to my dad. After dad we change the subject and continued with our day.

As I was saying at the beginning, I hadn't seen Matty out of school very often since the incident. Him and I talked to my dad and worked things out and agreed that we would start studying separately. For about three weeks we were seeing each other less often after school. Even though I was able to study more, I still wanted to be around him more(Was I becoming a clingy girlfriend?). On the other hand, I had more time to spend with Tamara. We didn't talk too much about Jake. Him and T were very often hanging out but I knew Tamara wanted him to make the next move or something. She wasn't unhappy with the situation but it was clear that she wanted more. She liked Jake and wanted to be with him but Tamara never liked the idea of being single so being in this undefined relationship with Jake mad her a little uncomfortable. From what Matty told me, Jake was interested in T but wanted to know her a little better before making any kind of move. He was even thinking that maybe he would take her on a date for their trip to Europe but of course I wasn't going to tell Tamara about that and ruin the surprise. The trip was in about two weeks and probably Jake will have made his decision by then. Right know he felt that it wasn't the right moment to start something. School stuff was making him think about many things and he needed vacations to clear his head. We would know when they come back how it all ended. As for me I was just waiting for school to be over. Matty was going to host an end of the year party and after that we would have the whole summer to ourselves.


	7. Chapter 7: Never have I ever

School was finally over and summer was something everyone was looking forward too. Not more than half hour after the last bell rang, the school was empty. Matty had taken me home that day but before getting to our destination, we went to eat something at a fast food place. "Are you coming tonight?" Matty asked. He was hosting and end of the year party and many people were invited (including Lissa and Sadie, which I didn't like that much but they have been friends for years). We wanted to celebrate the end of school but mainly it was going to be the last party in the US for the ones going on the Europe trip. Matty and I weren't going to see our fiends for more than a month so we needed one last party. "of course I'm coming. I will be there a little earlier so I can help you set up everything". After our snack we went back to my house and drop me off. Tamara and Ming were coming over so we could get ready together.

When I got closer to the door there was a sticky note that said, "We will be back late. Have fun at the party, Love you." Ok, so I had the whole house to myself. Unfortunately Matty was busy so there was no chance for him to come over. So I went to my computer and started writing on my blog. Nothing interesting happened lately so I didn't feel like writing. Instead I decide to read what I had written in my blog at the beginning of the school year. So many things have changed. As I read, I pictured everything and wondered if I would do the same things now. Being invisible worked in my favor sometimes, but being known and having some sort of "popularity" helped me get to know myself a little more and figure out who I was and who I wanted to be with. I definitely value myself more than at the beginning of the year. Everything happened for a reason and even though I was not happy with all the hard things I went through, it helped me grow and made relationship with certain people stronger. Going through my blog made me emotional and tears started running through my face. I wasn't sad. I was just glad that this period in my life was over and that I was able to overcome all my problems. Yes, I was having a moment but it was quickly interrupted by a knock in the door. It was Ming and Tamara.

We talked for a while before getting ready for the party. We were looking sexy. Tamara had a short black dress that showed off her figure and Ming was wearing a skirt and a shirt that showed a little more cleavage than we were used to. I was going to wear a purple dress that my mom bought me a couple of weeks ago (actually it was for her but since she didn't fit in it, she pretended to give it to me to wear it for the party). Normally I wouldn't wear things like that but this time T and Ming convinced me to wear something more sexy to surprise Matty. It was a good idea and I know he would love it. At about ten we left the house and headed to Matty's. We were bringing drinks so they needed to be at the house before the party started. When Matty opened the door he looked like he wanted to eat me his eyes. Tamara and Ming went straight to the kitchen to put the beers in the fridge and while Matty just stood outside. "You look smokin' " he said and put his hands around my waist and got closer to give me a kiss. "But there is a little problem. We might not need the dress later tonight. you are staying over right?" I was going to stay over. I told my dad that after the party I was going to stay over at Tamara's so changing plans wouldn't be very hard. Ming's mom was picking her up after the party so I figured it wouldn't be a problem if she took Tamara home too. "Yeah, I guess I can stay." I said and gave him another kiss in the lips. We went into the house and saw that Jake was also there (obviously now talking with Tamara). We got everything ready and waited for the rest of the people to arrive.

About an hour later, the house was full. Many people I have never seen in my life were there (according to Matty, most of them went to school with us). I talked to Clark a were starting to get closer. Ever since church camp he's been on my side and I was glad I could get to know him better. Sadie and Lissa were there too. Lissa already had too much to drink and it was easy to tell because she started making out with every guy that walked her way and she was always looking for Jake. Sadie on the other hand was worse than normal. She was constantly talking about Ricky and how much she hated him. She also had too many drinks and every time she walked by me she had something to say. At one pint I was with Clark and she approached us. Clark, like me, was also wearing purple so Sadie said "I guess that Barney finally came out of the closet. You're welcome." We wanted to say something back but she left very quickly when she saw Ricky making out with some senior.

About ten minutes later Matty approached us and asked us if we wanted to play a game. "Its called Never Have I Ever. Do you guys know it? Come on, it will be fun". We stood up and went to the backyard were a group of about ten people were sitting on the grass in a circle. Tamara, Ming and Jake were the first people I recognized. Next to Jake was Lissa, and next to Lissa was Ricky. He looked pretty wasted. On the other end was Sadie, giving him an evil look. Clark, Matty and I got closer and sat. "Ok, this is how the game works", Matty said. "You have to say something that you have never done before and the ones who have done it have to take a drink. Pretty easy." First to start was Sadie. I knew what was coming. She wanted to get me drunk. "Never have I ever had sex in someone's car". That was my first drink. Matty had to drink to and we both looked at each other and chuckled. next one was Lissa "Never have I ever kissed someone while dating another person". That one was obviously directed towards Jake. Lissa's plan was to make Jake drunk so she had a better shot at him. So the game kept going.

By the tenth round I was getting pretty dizzy. Every time it Sadie's time to talk, she would say something that would make me have to drink and make me feel uncomfortable. "Never have I ever dated two best friend" or "never have I ever received an anonymous letter" were some of the ones that pissed me. She had obviously studied my blog and was using everything I wrote against me. The worst part was that I couldn't pretend those things happened to me and not take a drink because everybody else knew they happened. So I kept drinking almost the whole game. Matty noticed I was getting way too drunk and finally ended the game. When it was over, I was probably the one that had drunk the most. On the other hand. Ming was very well. She probably had to take one drink and that was all. Jake was pretty wasted to, but he was conscious enough to avoid Lissa the rest of the party. The rest of the people were in pretty good shape.

At about four o'clock everyone was gone. I had told Tamara I wasn't going to go to her house and instead I would stay over at Matty's. Jake heard us and soon offered Tamara to take her home. As much as Tamara wanted to spend some time alone with Jake, he was too drunk to drive. She told him to ask some friends to take him home and come for the car early in the morning. Jake could argue against her. She was right. He wasn't going to be able drive and not get into an accident. Tamara asked Ming if her mom could take her home and she said yes. Soon the house was empty and Matty and I were finally alone.


End file.
